One of the areas of our body which conveys most about how we feel is how we move our hands and arms. Hand and arm gestures are sometimes deliberate, but most often they occur unconsciously and naturally.
Open hands and arms, especially extended, and with palms up in front of the body at chest height, indicate that what you're saying is important, and, especially when people are speaking in public, a pointing finger or a hand waving above the shoulders emphasizes an individual point. However, research shows that people often find speakers who point their fingers a lot rather annoying.
When people want to be open or honest they will often hold one or both of their palms out to the other person. Footballers who have just committed a foul often use this gesture to try to convince the referee that they didn't do it.
If a person puts his hand to his mouth, this either indicates that he is hiding something, or that he is nervous. Fidgeting with your hands, for example tapping the table with your fingers also shows nervousness, and so does holding a bag or briefcase very tightly in front of the body.
People who feel superior to you often appear relaxed, with their hands clasped behind their heads. The chin and head is often held high. This gesture is typical of lawyers, accountants, and other professionals who feel they know more than you do. Another gesture of superiority is to put your hands in your pockets with the thumbs protruding.
Arms folded tightly over the chest is a classic gesture of defensiveness and indicates that you are protecting yourself. It is often seen among strangers in queues or in lifts or anywhere where people feel a bit insecure. People also sometimes use this gesture when they are listening to someone, to show that they disagree with what is being said. However, this gesture can simply mean that the person is cold!
A hand-to-cheek gesture, where someone brings a hand to his face and extends his index finger along his cheek, with the remaining fingers positioned below the mouth, often shows that someone is thinking deeply. When someone strokes his chin, he is probably thinking about something important, or making a decision.
If men are attracted to someone, they sometimes play with one of their ear lobes, whereas women will play with a lock of hair or continually tuck their hair behind their ears.
There are urany gestures that indicate that someone is lying and in order to be sure you would expect a person to show more than one. Gestures include putting your hand in front of your mouth, touching your nose, rubbing your eyes, touching your ear, scratching your neck, pulling at your collar, or putting your finger or fingers in your mouth.
0
The question 'What kind of music do you like?' is very revealing. It is the number one topic of conversation among young atrults who are getting to know each other, according to psychologists from the universities of Cambridge and Texas. Their research has shown that knowing another person's musical tastes can provide remarkably accurate personality predidions. For most people, music is a very important part of their lives and psychologists believe that their preferences reveal information about their charader and their lifestyle. They think that personality clues are conveyed in the music's tempo, rhythm, and lyrics.
Fans of 'Top 40' pop, country, and soundtrack music tend to be more conventional and conservative compared with fans of other genres; family and discipline are important life values. They are also typically cheerful, outgoing, and sociable kinds of people who enjoy helping people. In their free time they often enjoy doing or watching sport. They also enjoy watching major Hollywood films, especially comedies. According to the psychologists, 'People who like country and pop try to avoid making their lives unnecessarily complex.'
Hip hop, funk, rap, soul, dance, and electronic music attracts people who are talkative, extrovert, and romantic and who tend to express their thoughts impulsively. They are the kind of people who love going to parties and for whom friendship and social recognition is very important. They tend to see themselves as physically attractive. When they go to the cinema, they typically enjoy watching action films, science fiction, gangster films, or comedies.
Fans of classical, jazz, and other 'complex' music typically have above-average intelligence. They tend to be creative and open to new experiences and lovers of classic or foreign films. Regarding lifestyle, fans of this kind of music tend to be politically liberal, are usually quite sophisticated, and often don't like sport. However, compared with other music fans, opera lovers are three times more likely to
commit suicide, psychologists say. But don't blame Madame Butterfly – people with dramatic personalities, whose moods go up and down a lot, are attracted to opera, not influenced by it.
Fans of alternative, heavy metal, rock music, and gangsta rap tend to be people who enjoy taking risks and having thrilling experiences. They are usually physically active. They are typically independent, curious about the world, and rebellious. They're the kind of people who are likely to enjoy watching action films, fantasy, war, and horror movies. Parents often worry that this kind of music promotes aggressive behaviour in teenagers, but research has found no direct link. In fact, younger fans of gangsta rap or heavy metal are often quieter and shyer than other young people.
Fans of 'Top 40' pop, country, and soundtrack music tend to be more conventional and conservative compared with fans of other genres; family and discipline are important life values. They are also typically cheerful, outgoing, and sociable kinds of people who enjoy helping people. In their free time they often enjoy doing or watching sport. They also enjoy watching major Hollywood films, especially comedies. According to the psychologists, 'People who like country and pop try to avoid making their lives unnecessarily complex.'
Hip hop, funk, rap, soul, dance, and electronic music attracts people who are talkative, extrovert, and romantic and who tend to express their thoughts impulsively. They are the kind of people who love going to parties and for whom friendship and social recognition is very important. They tend to see themselves as physically attractive. When they go to the cinema, they typically enjoy watching action films, science fiction, gangster films, or comedies.
Fans of classical, jazz, and other 'complex' music typically have above-average intelligence. They tend to be creative and open to new experiences and lovers of classic or foreign films. Regarding lifestyle, fans of this kind of music tend to be politically liberal, are usually quite sophisticated, and often don't like sport. However, compared with other music fans, opera lovers are three times more likely to
commit suicide, psychologists say. But don't blame Madame Butterfly – people with dramatic personalities, whose moods go up and down a lot, are attracted to opera, not influenced by it.
Fans of alternative, heavy metal, rock music, and gangsta rap tend to be people who enjoy taking risks and having thrilling experiences. They are usually physically active. They are typically independent, curious about the world, and rebellious. They're the kind of people who are likely to enjoy watching action films, fantasy, war, and horror movies. Parents often worry that this kind of music promotes aggressive behaviour in teenagers, but research has found no direct link. In fact, younger fans of gangsta rap or heavy metal are often quieter and shyer than other young people.
In life we sometimes have disagreements with people. It could be with your partner, with your boss, with your parents, or with a friend. When this happens, the important thing is to try not to let a calm discussion turn into a heated argument. But of course this is easier said than done.
The first thing I would say is that the way you begin the conversation is very important.
Imagine you are a student and you share a flat with another student who you think isn't doing her share of the housework. If you say, 'Look, you never do your share of the housework. What are we going to do about it?, the discussion will very soon turn into an argument. It's much more constructive to say something like, 'I think we'd better have another look about how we divide up the housework. Maybe there's a better way of doing it.'
My second piece of advice is simple. If you're the person who is in the wrong, just admit it! This is the easiest and best way to avoid an argument. Just apologize to your flatmate, your parents, or your husband, and move on. The other person will have more much respect for you in the future if you do that.
The next tip is don't exaggerate. Try not to say things like 'You always come home late when my mother comes to dinner' when perhaps this has only happened twice, or 'You never remember to buy the toothpaste.' This will just make the other person think you're being unreasonable, and will probably make him or her stop listening to your arguments.
Sometimes we just can't avoid a discussion turning into an argument. But if you do start arguing with someone, it is important to keep things under control and there are ways to do this.
The most important thing is don't raise your voice. Raising your voice will just make the other person lose their temper too. If you find yourself raising your voice, stop for a moment and take a deep breath. Say 'I'm sorry I shouted, but this is very important to me,' and continue calmly. If you can talk calmly and quietly, you'll find your partner will be more ready to think about what you are saying.
It is also very important to stick to the point. Try to keep to the topie you are talking about. Don't bring up old arguments, or try to bring in other issues. Just concentrate on solving the one problem you are having, and leave the other things for another time. So, for example, if you're arguing about the housework, don't start talking about mobile phone bilis as well.
And my final tip is that if necessary call 'Time out, like in a sports match. If you think that an argument is getting out of control, then you can say to the other person, listen, I'd rather talk about this tomorrow when we've both calmed down'. You can then continue the discussion the next day when perhaps both of you are feeling less tense and angry. That way there is much more chance that you will be able to reach an agreement. You'll also probably find that the problem is much easier to solve when you've both had a good night's sleep. Well, those are my tips.
But I want to say one last important thing. Some people think that arguing is always bad. This is not true. Conflict is a normal part of life, and dealing with conflict is an important part of any relationship, whether it's three people sharing a flet, a married couple, or just two good friends. If you don't learn to argue properly, then when a real problem comes along, you won't be prepared to face it together. Think of the smaller arguments as training sessions. Learn how to argue cleanly and fairly. It will help your relationship become stronger and last longer.
The first thing I would say is that the way you begin the conversation is very important.
Imagine you are a student and you share a flat with another student who you think isn't doing her share of the housework. If you say, 'Look, you never do your share of the housework. What are we going to do about it?, the discussion will very soon turn into an argument. It's much more constructive to say something like, 'I think we'd better have another look about how we divide up the housework. Maybe there's a better way of doing it.'
My second piece of advice is simple. If you're the person who is in the wrong, just admit it! This is the easiest and best way to avoid an argument. Just apologize to your flatmate, your parents, or your husband, and move on. The other person will have more much respect for you in the future if you do that.
The next tip is don't exaggerate. Try not to say things like 'You always come home late when my mother comes to dinner' when perhaps this has only happened twice, or 'You never remember to buy the toothpaste.' This will just make the other person think you're being unreasonable, and will probably make him or her stop listening to your arguments.
Sometimes we just can't avoid a discussion turning into an argument. But if you do start arguing with someone, it is important to keep things under control and there are ways to do this.
The most important thing is don't raise your voice. Raising your voice will just make the other person lose their temper too. If you find yourself raising your voice, stop for a moment and take a deep breath. Say 'I'm sorry I shouted, but this is very important to me,' and continue calmly. If you can talk calmly and quietly, you'll find your partner will be more ready to think about what you are saying.
It is also very important to stick to the point. Try to keep to the topie you are talking about. Don't bring up old arguments, or try to bring in other issues. Just concentrate on solving the one problem you are having, and leave the other things for another time. So, for example, if you're arguing about the housework, don't start talking about mobile phone bilis as well.
And my final tip is that if necessary call 'Time out, like in a sports match. If you think that an argument is getting out of control, then you can say to the other person, listen, I'd rather talk about this tomorrow when we've both calmed down'. You can then continue the discussion the next day when perhaps both of you are feeling less tense and angry. That way there is much more chance that you will be able to reach an agreement. You'll also probably find that the problem is much easier to solve when you've both had a good night's sleep. Well, those are my tips.
But I want to say one last important thing. Some people think that arguing is always bad. This is not true. Conflict is a normal part of life, and dealing with conflict is an important part of any relationship, whether it's three people sharing a flet, a married couple, or just two good friends. If you don't learn to argue properly, then when a real problem comes along, you won't be prepared to face it together. Think of the smaller arguments as training sessions. Learn how to argue cleanly and fairly. It will help your relationship become stronger and last longer.
The word or phrase that you use to open your email account may provide a key to your personality as well as to your correspondence, according to a British psychologist. Helen Petrie, professor of human / computer interaction at City University in London, analysed the responses of 1,200 Britons who participated in a survey funded by CentralNic, an Internet domain-name company. The results were recently published on CentralNic's website.
Petrie identifies three main password 'genres'. 'Family oriented' respondents numbered nearly half of those surveyed. These people use their own name or nickname, the name of a child, partner, or pet, or a birth date as their password. They tend to be occasional computer users and have strong family ties. 'They choose passwords that symbolize people or events with emotional value,' says Petrie. One third of respondents were 'fans', using the names of athletes, singers, movie stars, fictional characters, or sports teams. Petrie says fans are young and want to alty themselves with the lifestyle represented by a celebrity. Two of the most popular names were Madonna and Homer Simpson. The third main group of participants are 'cryptics' because they pick unintelligible passwords or a random string of letters, numerals, and symbols such as 'Jxa+157'. Petrie says cryptics are the most security-conscious group. They tend to make the safest but least interesting choices.
Passwords are revealing for two reasons. First, because they are invented on the spot. 'Since you are focused on getting into a system, for example your email account, you're likely to write down something that comes quickly to mind,' says Petrie. 'In this sense passwords tap into things that are jurt below the surface of consciousness. Also, to remember your password, you pick something that will stick in your mind. You may unconsciously choose something of particular emotional significance.
Petrie identifies three main password 'genres'. 'Family oriented' respondents numbered nearly half of those surveyed. These people use their own name or nickname, the name of a child, partner, or pet, or a birth date as their password. They tend to be occasional computer users and have strong family ties. 'They choose passwords that symbolize people or events with emotional value,' says Petrie. One third of respondents were 'fans', using the names of athletes, singers, movie stars, fictional characters, or sports teams. Petrie says fans are young and want to alty themselves with the lifestyle represented by a celebrity. Two of the most popular names were Madonna and Homer Simpson. The third main group of participants are 'cryptics' because they pick unintelligible passwords or a random string of letters, numerals, and symbols such as 'Jxa+157'. Petrie says cryptics are the most security-conscious group. They tend to make the safest but least interesting choices.
Passwords are revealing for two reasons. First, because they are invented on the spot. 'Since you are focused on getting into a system, for example your email account, you're likely to write down something that comes quickly to mind,' says Petrie. 'In this sense passwords tap into things that are jurt below the surface of consciousness. Also, to remember your password, you pick something that will stick in your mind. You may unconsciously choose something of particular emotional significance.
For decades doctors have warned us about the dangers of stress and have given us advice about how to cut down our stress levels. Everyone agrees that long-term stress, for example having to look after someone who has a chronic illness, or stressful situations where there is nothing we can do, for example being stuck in a traffic jam, is bad for our health and shouid be avoided whenever possible. However, some medical experts now believe that certain kinds of stress may actually be good for us.
Dr Marios Kyriazis, an anti-ageing expert, claims that what he calls 'good stress' is beneficial to our health and may, in fact, help us stay young and attractive and even live longer. Dr Kyriazis says that 'good stress' can strengthen our natural defences which protect us from illnesses common among older people, such as Alzheimer's, arthritis, and heart problems. He believes that 'good stress' can increase the production of the proteins that help to repair the body's cells, including brain cells.
According to Dr Kyriazis, running for a bus or having to work to a deadline are examples of 'good stress', that is situations with short-term, low or moderate stress. The stress usually makes us react quickly and efficiently, and gives us a sense of achievernent - we did it! However, in both these situations, the stress damages the cells in our body or brain and they start to break down. But then the cells' own repair mechanism 'switches on' and it produces proteins which repair the damaged cells and remove harmful chemicals that can gradually cause disease. In fact, the body's response is greater than is needed to repair the damage, so it actually makes the cells stronger than they were before.
'As the body gets older, this self-repair mechanism of the cells starts to slow down,' says Dr Kyriazis. 'The bert way to keep the process working efficiently is to 'exercise' it, in the same way you would exercise your muscles to keep them strong. This means having a certain amount of stress in our lives.' Other stressful activities that Kyriazis recommends as being good stress include redecorating a room in your house over a weekend, packing your suitcase in a hurry to reach the airport on time, shopping for a dinner party during your lunch break or programming your DVD or video recorder by following the instruction manual.
So next time your boss tells you that she wants to see that report finished and on her desk in 45 minutes, don't panic; just think of it as 'good stress' which will have benefits for your long-term health!
Dr Marios Kyriazis, an anti-ageing expert, claims that what he calls 'good stress' is beneficial to our health and may, in fact, help us stay young and attractive and even live longer. Dr Kyriazis says that 'good stress' can strengthen our natural defences which protect us from illnesses common among older people, such as Alzheimer's, arthritis, and heart problems. He believes that 'good stress' can increase the production of the proteins that help to repair the body's cells, including brain cells.
According to Dr Kyriazis, running for a bus or having to work to a deadline are examples of 'good stress', that is situations with short-term, low or moderate stress. The stress usually makes us react quickly and efficiently, and gives us a sense of achievernent - we did it! However, in both these situations, the stress damages the cells in our body or brain and they start to break down. But then the cells' own repair mechanism 'switches on' and it produces proteins which repair the damaged cells and remove harmful chemicals that can gradually cause disease. In fact, the body's response is greater than is needed to repair the damage, so it actually makes the cells stronger than they were before.
'As the body gets older, this self-repair mechanism of the cells starts to slow down,' says Dr Kyriazis. 'The bert way to keep the process working efficiently is to 'exercise' it, in the same way you would exercise your muscles to keep them strong. This means having a certain amount of stress in our lives.' Other stressful activities that Kyriazis recommends as being good stress include redecorating a room in your house over a weekend, packing your suitcase in a hurry to reach the airport on time, shopping for a dinner party during your lunch break or programming your DVD or video recorder by following the instruction manual.
So next time your boss tells you that she wants to see that report finished and on her desk in 45 minutes, don't panic; just think of it as 'good stress' which will have benefits for your long-term health!
Subskrybuj:
Posty (Atom)
